Broadcast networks are deep into finale seasons, and many of those season enders are featured in our Quotes of the Week column.
In the list below, we’ve gathered nearly 20 of the most memorable sound bites from television over the past seven days, including both scripted and unscripted moments from broadcast, cable, and streaming series.
This time, we have a hilariously morbid explanation willy wonka and the chocolate factory From ted lassoKay Higgins, one of the weirdest questions ever Survivor (which is really saying something, considering the show’s longevity), a never-ending mystery neighborhoodand proof – courtesy of 9-1-1: Lone Star — that a marriage officer can be both sentimental and practical in the course of the job.
Also featured in this week’s roundup: A double dose of Apple TV+’s new high desertplus the rare triple dose, this time from grey’s anatomyTwo-episode season finale.
Scroll through the list below to see all of our picks for the week, then hit the comments and let us know if we missed any of your favorites!
true lie
Image Credit: Courtesy of CBS
Dana is dating a computer crime expert And Roof ?! We need to eliminate him with extreme prejudice.
“Honey, you know it means ‘to kill’, right?”
“Good point. Not that. But something!
Helen (Ginger Gonzaga) isn’t afraid to apply her newfound detective knowledge to the estranged kid her daughter is dating, but Harry (Steve Howe) corrects her.
yellow jacket
Image credit: Showtime Screenshot
“If you kill yourself now, we will eat you.”
“I do not care.”
“I’ll savor every second of it, especially your high calorie butt meat.”
Misty (Samantha Hanratty) employs very on-brand tactics as she tries to stop Coach Ben (Steven Kruger) from throwing himself off a cliff.
ted lasso
Image Credit: Apple TV+ Screenshots (2)
“I don’t want to be part of the Akufo league.”
“Oh why? Because he’s an emotionally unstable billionaire with the temperament of one of those kids Willy Wonka Who gets murdered in the chocolate factory?”
“I don’t think so, Leslie.”
“I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but they’re kids dead,
Higgins (Jeremy Swift), with the only correct explanation of willy wonka and the chocolate factory
grey’s anatomy
Image credit: ABC Screenshot
“You put me in an impossible position today, and I hate you for it. I hate you so much I’m about to cry now because that’s how I express anger, and I’ll hate you even more.” Because you made me cry. And the worst part is… You saved her. You saved my favorite person, so I don’t just have to hate you, I have to love you too.
Jules (Adelaide Kane) criticizes Blue for ignoring Max’s DNR order.
grey’s anatomy (Bonus quote!)
Image credit: ABC Screenshots (2)
“I love you, and I will love you… forever.”
“You incredible dummy. I love you too.”
Finally, Link (Chris Carmack) and Jo (Camilla Luddington) say it – at the same time!
grey’s anatomy (Bonus quote!)
Image credit: ABC Screenshot
“I wasted years of my life trying to escape the pain, and I came home to you to say that I should never have let you go and to say that I’ve lived my whole life with love and shit and pain I want to live.”
“OK then.”
Wait, was that just to get Nick (Scott Speedman) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) back together?
Survivor
Image credit: CBS Screenshot
“Can you burp in my mouth… my nose?”
When Yum Yam comes back from the reward feast, Caroline demands just a little, uh, smell of what she ate.
succession
Image credit: HBO Screenshot
“It’s fun. My team playing your team. It’s only spicy because if my team wins, they will shoot your team.”
Roman (Kieran Culkin) shares his fervent moral perspective on the looming presidential election
NCIS
Image credit: CBS Screenshot
“Cannoli King?”
“Yeah, is he a real person, or just a steamy allegory?”
McGee (Sean Murray), Jess (Katrina Law), et al. Learn Parker’s dinner date wasn’t with a pastry icon, but a handsome US senator
all American
Image credits: CW Screenshot
“Fuck it. I need some air.”
“we are out.”
“I need Separate Air!”
Jordan (Michael Evans Behling) and Layla’s (Greta Onyogou) argument comes to a futile end
high desert (episode 1)
Image credit: Apple TV+ Screenshot
“Who would have thought? I’m starting this prestigious career at my age… I’m like Mary Tyler Moore on methadone!
Peggy (Patricia Arquette) compares herself to a comedy legend while telling her siblings about her new job as a private investigator (sort of).
high desert (Episode 1 Bonus Quote!)
Image credit: Apple TV+ Screenshot
“Are you tripping now?”
“immaterial.”
“You’re trying to divorce me on acid! You’re not thinking straight.
“So I’m thinking straight…it’s acid. It’s not drugs.
Peggy (Patricia Arquette) makes her own rules when it comes to “sobriety” and tries to divorce her husband Denny (Matt Dillon).
the Bold and the Beautiful
Image credit: CBS Screenshot
“Don’t flirt with someone who used to be infatuated with you!”
Steffy (Jacqueline McInnes Wood) can’t seem to get over Thomas after she spies his “gaze with desire”.
Amazing Mrs. Maisel
Image credits: Prime Video Screenshot
“I’ve come over a lot of d-ks for you, Missy. For three years I’ve Nothing But jump on the D-KS.
Susie (Alex Borstein) takes issue with Midge’s claim that she fights hard for fellow client James, for whom she raided a bath house “and jumped on the D-Ks” to get him a gig. For
neighborhood
Image credit: CBS Screenshot (2)
“I have to ask: What were your parents thinking when they named you Lamar?”
“It’s actually a combination of my parents’ names.”
“Oh! Well, that makes sense.
“Latasha and Marcellus.”
The origin of Lamar’s (Kevin Pollack) name provides more questions than it answers
NCIS: Hawaii
Image credit: CBS Screenshot
“Wait, can’t Ernie track his phone?”
“His phone is off, Kate.”
“Has Ernie turned it on remotely!”
“Ernie is not magic.”
A desperate Kate (Tori Anderson) works with Lucy (Yasmine Al-Bustami) and Ernie (Jason Antoon) to locate Jane
9-1-1: Lone Star
Image credit: Courtesy Fox
“May you laugh together often, may you surprise each other daily and most importantly may you stay out of the ICU for at least a year.”
#TarlosWedding officiant Paul (Brian Michael Smith) speaking for the whole lone Star fan here
